I was excited to finally make my own kale smoothie and be all about that kale hype. I added almond milk, blueberries, banana, and kale. It was actually good. I felt so proud and healthy. This was the beginning of a new me. I was finally going to get my shit together. I was going to be like those healthy people. If I couldn’t lose weight by exercising then I would lose it by replacing one of my meals with a kale smoothie. Seemed like a legit plan.

But then something was…off. I sat there in my living room thinking hmm something’s not right.

Some odd activity was developing in my tummy. Some bubbly activity. Some warm, crampy activity. Is this what being healthy feels like? Am I allergic to it?

I’m Mexican and I grew up poor which means I don’t like wasting food. I’ve got this bag of ready-to-eat kale now and I don’t want to eat it, but I can’t throw it away. So, I decided to give it another go.

This time, I added fresh strawberries. It made the smoothie turn a grey-ish color. Not very appetizing. But, again, it tasted good. I felt so healthy. Like, look at me drinking this ugly-colored smoothie and getting healthier by the sip.

But, I was betrayed again. I don’t think I’m meant to be a cool, healthy, fit, kale-eating person. This must make me a bad Californian.I think it’s supposed to be in our blood to automatically absorb the latest health-food craze.Maybe it’s because I’m Mexican.